What's happen'n to me...

I thought i am now fixed!!

But I realize I am not!!

I am definitely not FIXED!!

Nor Healed!!

I thought I am strong enough to face all my BURDENS
and to heal my owns PAINS..
How can I help other people if I know deep in me that I can't help myself..
GOD is waiting outside of my heart he's knocking on me but there's a wall between us i don't know how to remove it. Don't know what's going on with my own life. Don't know who am I..
Every piece of me are BROKEN definitely hard to fixed.
How can I start fixing all those pieces, don't know where to start.
Don't know how to remove the wall between me and my GOD.
I know GOD is still waiting outside of me.
He's hungry, sick, thirsty yet he's still waiting for me to remove the wall, open the door to my heart and mind.

I know GOD is the only one that can help me to fixed my self.

But there's hindrances why GOD can't enter my heart, my mind and all of me.
I really can't find those hindrances between me and my GOD.

---That's what I am last nyt-----

I wan't to be happy without pretending.

I wan't to be strong enough to face all those pains in me.

I wan't to get out of this problem for me to let go of myself.

I wan't GOD to enter my life, my heart and my mind.

I wan't to fixed myself.

I wan't GOD to use me.

I wan't to serve GOD without hesitation.

---This is all i want---

Last nyt sumone hit me at my back and say "Don't let Satan enter to ur heart, Don't show to him that your weak".

And suddenly I realize he's right and I wake up to the reality that I need to remove all the walls and hindrances between me and my GOD and i will let GOD enter my life, my heart and my mind.

I cried so hard because I'm guilty coz GOD get sick, hungry and thirsty because he's waiting for me to remove the wall and open the door to my heart.

I realize that he really love's me and he's willing to wait for me to get only his hand.

But still don't know how to start to get his hand even though i realize that I need HIM...

Don't know where to start my new life with.

Don't know how to fixed myself..

All I wan't is to be happy without pretending and accept GOD with all of me..

Becoz I know he's the only one I need.

---This is Who am I ryt now---